Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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