There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Found your dick twin last night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
