So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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