Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
