She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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