The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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