Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
