last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
