Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize