I accidentally had phone sex last night
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
