i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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