so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
