with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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