You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
