I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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