i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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