he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
