I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
