i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
