My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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