butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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