Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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