Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
