Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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