i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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