guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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