It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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