i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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