nut hugger
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
