Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
