I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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