Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
