He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
