This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
