dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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