Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You need a sexual gate keeper
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
