we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I love having hate sex.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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