sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
