fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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