Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
