NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
as a side note pls kill me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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