I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
