You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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