Jerry, you need to find god
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
