dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
