if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
