If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
