Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
