great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
