i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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