she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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