Christians are straight up FREAKS
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
