i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
